2.11.2012

forever alone

We knew this topic would come up. Has anyone ever noticed how much emphasis we put on getting married?

I am in a human health and sexuality course this semester. Sometimes this Thursday morning class makes me want to jump up and tell everybody to just shut up and get laid. Mentioning sex for some people is like you just said that Chris Tomlin is the Anti-Christ. It's shocking and awkward and they can't believe it. They're either nervous about the topic or they're giggling because the prof said "orgasm." There are a few that can sit still and shut up, and if you're one of those people reading this, props to you. You have my heart.

Anyways, a couple of weeks ago the topic was marriage. Sex is sacred, the marriage relationship is a reflection of Christ's love for his Bride, etc. I get it. What I don't get is all this talk and hype about how marrying someone completes you. I guess I should back up a little and mention our talk about gender identity: the gist of it is that God created us male and female, which does make us a little different as far as our strengths and qualities and personalities and things of the like. So when a man and a woman come together in marriage, it's like this awesome explosion of love and glory and the angels in heaven are singing and teaching Jesus how to Dougie because the two genders complete one another.

So, what does that make a single person, or someone called to celibacy? Incomplete forever? Worthless on their own?

I made a fuss to a classmate/friend, who in turn asked my question.

Oh, well, I guess God made everyone for relationship. We are relational beings. So a single person can still have relationship and bonding, it's just really not the same or as good. You don't get to have sex. Forever alone to be a sexual steward. Sucks2BU.

I don't think it's fair to basically say that marriage is the goal, ideal, the thing that we're supposed to do. You can't say how good something is and then forgot those who may never have it. Maybe singleness is rare and doesn't happen as much as I think, but it's still an option. Focusing on one way of living, one type of relationship and saying it's the best thing for us is screwed up to me. I think there are probably a lot more hurting and frustrated single people in our churches than we think.

So who's church has a singles group that isn't a dating service? Who's going to make that happen?

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